Observations of a restless brain

there is a restlessness in me that never ceases to amaze me. a constant hunger that grips at every fiber of my being. and yet the "food for thought" that i need to feed this insatiable thirst inside is in high demand and short supply. so what's a girl to do. i amble and stumble my way through life. seldom apologizing and almost never looking back. I have an awkward grace that i live by. and an almost embarrassing clumsiness in which i seem to throw my day to day life together. So i can't help but wonder what to do next? looking around right now i am reminded of a time in my life when things weren't so complicated. although hindsight is 20/20. i miss high school.... oh my yes i said it ok? i MISS high school. i know back then it was o i can't wait to grow up. i can't wait to move out and be an adult and make my own rules and live my life the way that i chose. FUCK that. i wanna go back to homework and rumors and living under mommy and daddy's roof. ha ha how naive were we to think that high school was so horrible that reality would be better. I love the irony. I think i spent too much time bucking the system and not enough preparing for these days. But this is my life. I am a 23 year old single mother of an amazingly beautiful 2 year old son. I will soon be a college graduate. i am divorced .... twice. i am an ex addict. and ex raver. an ex dreamer and an ex believer. But you know what i have realized all these things that can be used to describe me..... they don't define me. I am the ONLY one that can. Period. _insert evil laugh here_ but no seriously. wtf is wrong with the color pink.... the more pink shit i see the uglier i realize the color is. :D