i am currently sitting on my couch, as i do every night. I am eating a quesodilla (can't spell)and drinking a mountain dew while watching tv texting on my phone a hittin up the facebook.... i got mad skills tonight. But i am kinda on this train of thought. How do you find happiness. I got an email from an old friend that i haven't seen or talked to in a long time and she seems really down and depressed. she asked me how i got my happy ending, and told me that she has no happiness in her life so she asks her friends about their happiness in order to feel something. like she is living through other ppl. this makes me very sad and a little irate at the world. doesn't everyone deserve their own version of a happy ending? why do bad things happen to good ppl? i know that everyone asks these questions and that they are rhetorical. maybe there will never be an answer. but as for my own life i do know a few things.
In 2004 i fell in love with some one that i thought was the most amazing person ever. I was naive and i would pay for my ignorance for the next 5 years. After following this man into drugs and habits that almost ruined the rest of my life i thought things would get better when we got clean. i was right for a min. then i realized that all i knew was the him that was on drugs. and once he got clean he wasn't the same person. so we broke it off. only for me to find out a few months later that i was pregnant. so like a complete and utter idiot i got back with him in an effort to work it out to have a family. i didn't want my son to have a broken home.... wanted to have a better start than i did. big mistake. as with all bad relationships the bad got worse. and at 6 months old i packed up my son and left because of an alcohol addiction that was spinning out of control. my heart was SHATTERED. i was on my own and i was with a child.
Now 2 years later i am married to my best friend and he is an amazing father to my son. i have the best support of family that anyone could ask for. and for the most part that goes for my friends also. And every once in a while i get a little sad thinking about wasted time and wasted tears but i think that i have an answer on how i got my happy ending... a lil patience, a lil heart ache, and a lot of luck!
Now 2 years later i am married to my best friend and he is an amazing father to my son. i have the best support of family that anyone could ask for. and for the most part that goes for my friends also. And every once in a while i get a little sad thinking about wasted time and wasted tears but i think that i have an answer on how i got my happy ending... a lil patience, a lil heart ache, and a lot of luck!
