Ninja Mom Mode

here goes my first baby daddy rant. Witch will be good for me because I have been holding this in for a sec. A few of my close friends have heard some of this so if they happen to read it I apologize for any repeated information. For privacy reasons I will refer to my sons dad as Kevin from here on out. When I took my son and moved out on my own it was a confusing and rocky time. Kevin and I hated each other. I couldn't even stand the mere mention of his name. And time went on and there were issues every once in a while but nothing that couldn't be handled and resolved. God knows that I am not the easiest person to get along or work with if you wrong me but I was trying for the sake of my son to make thing as smooth as possible. This started to pay of up until recently. I mean things were actually going well he took his son every other weekend and was starting to ask if he could take him for a few hours in the middle of the week just because he missed Mini Ninja and wanted to spend time with him. I saw this as a new beginning. But I should know better kevin would hate to disappoint by doing something too right. And so for the last month of so I have watched thing slowly deteriorate.... I wish that I was on the outside of the situation. I wish that I was just watching someone that I used to know fall apart and not have a vested interest in his future. But he is the father of my son and so I am stuck watching with a close eye and scrutinizing every little thing that the bastard does (sorry for my language) any ways back to my story. Over the last month or so I have watched things go from bad to worse. He had finally gotten a job, maybe i'll see some of that 5k in back child support HA HA HA right and maybe I will win the lottery tomorrow. Well sucked for him because the place he got a job at happens to be the same place my cousin works. And then of course in the fashion of everything entertaining drama ensues. First he has the nerve to call in sick stating that his son was in the hospital all night cuz he was sick....SERIOUSLY?!? um my cousin know I have full custody. Epic fail on his part. Then there is the strategically place arm band, the red blotchy skin, the uncontrollable sweating, the long sleeve shirts. For those of you who are lucky enough to not be familiar with the lines that I am connecting here let me break it down further. Remember that drug habit that almost ruined my life? Some ppl have it in them to stay clean and live for not being high.... Kevin doesn't. I recently took my son over there for the weekend. Which I don't know if kevin realizes that if he didn't live with his parents he wouldn't see his son at all. I text his mom (love it when -ahem- older pl can text) and told her that I needed to talk. To which I promptly got a phone call explaining that she knew what was going on and that she wanted to make sure I knew that we were on the same page. Kevin is NOT allowed to take my son any where. He is NOT allowed to be home alone with my son. His mother is a saint. I really miss her. Which brings me to my next point. If he continues on the path that he is on I see no option other than to do what ever and I will do WHATEVER it takes to protect my son. I will take is rights, I will turn him in. and then I also have started to think about the future. How am I going to handle a few years from now when Kevin is dead or in prison, and my son asks me why. Why his dad didn't give a shit about him enough to keep it together. I don't wanna be the mother that lies and says “daddy was sick” sick my ass. He made a clear conscious decision to jump down the rabbit whole and abandon the life that was in front of him. . . these are the things I have to think about on a daily basis. This is my life.